A word this morning from my husband, C.W.:
Sarah asked me to write this piece as a follow-up to her series on God’s Faithfulness. As someone who absolutely loved engineering and astronomy, and whose life was transformed by vision loss, sometimes I “see” things that aren’t quite as obvious to others.
As I’ve been following this series and marveling at the ways God was so faithful in fulfilling Heidi’s desire to help children in need, another thought came to mind: How much good she did and how many lives she touched as an OB nurse. We’ve tried to guess at the number before because in twenty-two years of nursing, that is a lot of lives she touched. What a blessing God brought Heidi to nursing and worked through her in that way but how unlikely it was to have ever happened.
In her last year of life, there were moments when Heidi would regress to school-age or teenage years and sometimes talk about her desire to be a nurse. The younger her didn’t know how or if that could happen. It clearly was something that was on her heart from childhood. But out in the world of day-to-day life, she got married right out of high school and started a family. Her life was full of caring for foster kids and her own kids, inviting people to her home for tacos, teaching Sunday School, praying and worshipping with friends in her living room, and it didn’t seem like that path would ever lead to nursing school.
But then life got hard. After eighteen years of marriage, she found herself alone and needing to provide for seven kids without any means. With no other resources, Heidi took a leap of faith, borrowed more money than she could hope to repay, and put herself through nursing school, graduating with honors and receiving a non-traditional student of the year award. She went to work as a nurse right after graduation and continued working many years to pay back her debt and provide for her family. Money was so tight that for years she didn’t have a car. She walked to and from work in Northern Michigan blizzards, with her kids at home wondering whether she’d survive the two-mile trek. And she did. And she did it without complaining.
Nursing was such a joy to her that the trials didn’t seem to faze her.
That doesn’t mean it wasn’t ridiculously hard at times. Those closest to Heidi knew that she wrestled with God and with the path He laid before her. But somehow she always came back to that place of love and trust in Him. Wherever He would lead, she would follow. She trusted her Shepherd – just like the one in her favorite hymn, “I am Jesus’ little lamb.”
Fellow Believer, how faithful is our God. How beautiful and unfathomable are His ways. If you had asked Heidi to name the greatest blessing in her life, I guarantee you she would not have said a tragic divorce. And yet – look how God turned that tragedy into blessing for so many children and fulfilled the desire of Heidi’s heart to become a nurse who could care for those children in need.
One of the things that amazes me most about God is how He masterfully weaves the tapestry of our lives. Seemingly awful threads or insignificant threads – or whatever threads come from our lives – somehow He weaves them all together into something beautiful.
We’ve all heard a thousand times that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, but that tends to just be an intellectual truth to us. Until it’s not. Until we live it. Until we see it. Until we know it in our hearts. No matter how hard things are, somehow God is working something good in the midst of that darkness.
Fellow Believer, in the midst of the relentless struggles of life, it’s impossible to see the good that may be coming – the good that God will work. But I can personally testify as well to the amazing blessings that God has worked in my life out of incredibly difficult circumstances. Discovery and innovation were such deep passions in my life for so many years before my vision loss, but somehow God turned that situation into abounding blessings that I never would have imagined possible. I have no idea how I could have gotten to the place I am today otherwise. And I wouldn’t trade this for anything.
If you’re in the midst of struggle, fellow Believer, hang in there. If it’s not good yet, if you’re not seeing the blessing, then God’s not finished. Trust our God. He brings astounding blessings out of the hardest trials.
Bitter blessings can be the sweetest blessings.
C.W.
From my heart to yours,
Good morning,
Wow this was amazing.
I don’t remember anything about the divorce. Nor would I know.
I know I was very mad at your dad for leaving his wife and 7 children. And him not helping her with child support. Not that he had means to help but it was his duty as a father.
I remember no details of course of how proud Grandma and Grandpa Moore were of your mom putting herself through college and raising you kids. I think they tried very hard to be a part of Heidi and you childrens family. Even though it was long distance.
What a blessing your mom was to you all and her many patients and so many others.
This was a beautiful memory of your mom. She’s very proud of you.
I love you
This was wonderful. It was heartfelt and encouraging. Thank you for sharing C.W.’s voice and insights. Your mom sounds like an amazing person.